The dead duck...

A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the
vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his
head sadly and said,
"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away.
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you
sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,"
replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure", she protested.
"I mean you
haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or
something." The vet rolled his eyes,
turned around and
left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a
black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in
amazement, the dog
stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad
eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and
took it out of
the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from
head to foot.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook
its head, meowed softly
and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said,
"I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100%
certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal,
hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the
woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took
the bill.
"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell
me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you
had just taken
my word for it, the bill would have been
$20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now
$150."